by Dr. Ana Nogales, Ph.D.

Recently in a therapeutic group, a woman who had suffered domestic abuse shared with us what she had gone through. She no longer lived with her abusive husband, but she spoke about her experiences as if the couple were still living together. Each time that I or another member of the group indicated to her that what she was recounting had happened in the past and not the present, this woman seemed to disregard our comments. Instead, she continued talking and ignoring our detailed explanations of her past traumatic experiences.

A few minutes later, another woman began to speak about having been sexually abused as a child. Although the circumstances of her story were different, she reported the facts in the same “present tense” manner as the previous woman had. She was speaking to us, but she did not listen to any of us. She repeated her story over and over, trying to convince us of the horror that she had lived through, convincing herself that it was a diabolical situation. She was talking about the abuse as if it were occurring in the present, when in fact it had occurred a long time ago. It was during her presentation that the previous participant realized the mechanism that both used unconsciously to try to rid themselves of so much pain: they continued living in their traumatic memories, reinforcing them over and over again in an attempt to finally be rid of them.

Whatever one experiences as traumatic remains engraved in one’s mind in a very peculiar form. Many people continue to experience trauma as if it were occurring in the present, even when it belongs to the past. People who have been through a series of difficult experiences—repeated instances of domestic abuse, for example—continue feeling as if they were still going through that event although they no longer live together with that partner or spouse. In such cases, a psychologist’s therapeutic treatment is not enough, because talking and understanding is not sufficient. Although we may state over and over again that the horror they’ve been through is not current, the traumatized person seems not to listen and is immersed in the tragedy as if it is ongoing.

What is occurring within such individuals is that the traumatic memories have remained in particular cerebral regions, saved there as if in a current computer file that then is sent and re-sent to the user during unexpected moments. The frontal lobe of the brain, which is responsible for understanding, thinking and reasoning, seems not to receive the information initially, when it is very painful. Instead of being appropriately processed, the traumatic information remains in a kind of neurological limbo, being repeated again and again in the mind. Thus, the memory of a particular trauma is governed by one’s biological system, rather than by one’s will, making it nearly impossible for the individual to control. No matter how much one wants to forget about a painful past experience, the brain continually sends one the memory, the images reappear, and the suffering continues.

The frustration at not being able to rid oneself of traumatic memories is often so great that many people feel they can’t even talk about it. In such cases, it may be necessary to integrate the sensations and actions associated with past events; to use touch, fragrance, sounds, colors – even the taste of a chicken soup one’s mother used to cook – to try to come to terms on a sensory level with one’s traumatic past. When experiences of abuse or trauma are so intense that one is plagued by recurring memories, unusual interventions such as this may be required if one is to finally heal from painful events.