by Dr. Ana Nogales, Ph.D.
From the Newspaper La Opinión

O.J. Simpson’s trial and verdict have brought us some concerns about the judicial system, our society and the racism that undoubtedly shows how far we still are from having risen above our racial differences.
Without forgetting that the main deed was the murder of Nicole Brown Simpson and Ronald Goldman, for which the only suspect was O.J., neither can we forget on the other hand that domestic violence was possibly one of the most difficult to accept in this long trial.
Reality is that FBI statistics show that in more than 30% of cases of murdered women, the spouse or boyfriend committed it, by simple beating and a very violent death. This doesn’t mean that women don’t murder their husbands or boyfriends. This happens in the same percentage of cases, but in most cases it is due to a violent reaction to years of suffering, oppression, abuse, and violence by the husband toward the wife.

In general, physical abuse of the husband or boyfriend by the woman does not end in homicide. But it does when the man abuses the woman, even when this was not planned.
Underlying brutality of this type of crime are feelings of impotence in the male that are difficult for the couple to recognize. Just because the man is violent with his mate, it doesn’t mean that he doesn’t love her or that he hates her. Generally, these men are otherwise responsible and hardworking individuals, but they lose control when they feel trapped by sentimental issues, exhibiting violence as the only way to regain control in face of desperation or the possibility of losing someone dear to them.

This becomes more forceful when the man has learned from childhood that violence is a weapon for exercising control, acceptable (although unspoken) in his family of origin.
The first step in eradicating domestic violence is to recognize it. And recognizing it is fundamental to understanding that violence is not the same thing as power or control.
We can keep someone through fear, but only physically and only temporarily. Eventually, we lose the relationship permanently.